fauxklore (fauxklore) wrote,

Beware of Flamingos

As most people who know me know, there are a few things I consider unmitigated evil. That list includes Microsoft, the New York Yankees and the color pink.

Flamingos are not actually pink, by the way. They take on the tint of whatever they eat. If they eat shrimp and krill and the like, they turn pinkish. But they could eat, say, kale, and you would have green flamingos. Unhealthy, protein-deprived flamingos, admittedly, but green nonetheless.

That is a brief explanation of why it didn't occur to me that staying at The Flamingo in Las Vegas - one of the pinkest hotels in the world - would be a bad idea. I got a rate approximately equivalent to what one normally pays at a Motel 6. Well, sort of, since there is the evil resort fee, but those are unavoidable in Vegas nowadays.

What was so bad?

1) It took nearly an hour and a half to check in. The line was absurdly long, there were too few people working, and several customers needed 10-15 minutes for what should be a 2 or 3 minute transaction. At one point, a guy in the line shouted loudly, "This is the worst hotel in Las Vegas."

2) Sound proofing left a lot to be desired. My room overlooked the Linq Promenade, which plays music 24/7. The interior soundproofing was also an issue and let's just quote Paul Simon and say the couple in the next room were going at it all night long.

And then there was the staff member who was vacuuming in the hallway outside guest rooms at 11 at night.

3) They charge 5 bucks to print a boarding pass. Not that I paid it, of course, but it was kind of a final outrage.

4) Checking out took only 40 minutes. I waited in the line because, frankly, I didn't trust them not to screw something up and I wanted to see that paper receipt.

Bugsy Siegel was more of a crook than I realized.
Tags: holidailies, rants, travel

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