2) It is very important to dim the light completely before turning the dimmer switch in the kitchen off. "They" say so.
3) Daughters exist so you can criticize them for their weight and their hair.
While complaining about their weight, you must also offer them cookies and cake.
4) Human language was invented out of our deep seated need to complain. If we didn't have to kvetch, we wouldn't have to talk.
To be fair, some of her grievances (aired all year round, not just on Festivus) are legitimate. It is hard for her to open things with her arthritis, for example. And instruction manuals are often badly written. Though I still don't think it is necessary for them to have to tell you to turn things on before trying to use them.