fauxklore (fauxklore) wrote,

A Plea to Earl Bettinger

Earl Bettinger is "the husband who..." and I figure if anybody can talk some sense into Lilian Jackson Braun, he can.

I just read The Cat Who Had 60 Whiskers. Given my annoyance with the series, I am not sure why I bothered to, except that it's sort of traditional for people in my family to read books before giving them to one another. And I had picked it up at McKay's for my mother for her upcoming birthday.

This book, like others in the series, was shelved in the mystery section. And, sure enough, there is actual crime. There are, in fact, two cases of arson, a major robbery, and one probable murder. Now, in the early books in the series, Koko provides clues which Qwill interprets and Andrew Brodie uses to solve the crime. They're very cute even if you hate the whole animal detective thing.

In this one (like the last several) Koko yowls a bunch, but he doesn't even so much as knock a book off a shelf to provide a hint. Everybody dismisses the murder and the arson gets blamed on hooligans from another county.

Lack of detection does not make for a satisfying mystery.

So, please, please, please, Mr. Bettinger. Take the keyboard away from your wife. Wrap her up in a nice cozy afghan, put her in a rocking chair, settle a cat or two on her lap, ply her with cocoa (or something stronger if needed). Put do not under any circumstances allow her to write another book. And give her the following message:

Thirty-one (28 novels and 3 short story collections) is enough. Stop now and maybe I will forgive you for the hitchhiker who disappeared several novels ago and was never mentioned again. Stop now and I will forgive you for limericks that don't scan. Stop now and I will forgive you for not knowing that you can take cats to Paris. But whatever you do, stop now.
Tags: books

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